VivOneInc

Men Vs Wild(Tree)

Atul Singh — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 07:32:51 +0000

“Some one had said “Life is not same for all”.
ट्रेन में बैठ कर मैं खिड़की से बहार देख रहा हूँ, पेड़ों को. कहीं एक लम्बी कतार में, कहीं एक झुरमुट में, कहीं कोई अकेला खड़ा हुआ एक पेड़, वीराने में ऊसर जमीन पर खड़ा हुआ एक अकेला पेड़.
इन पेड़ों को देख कर मुझे यह लगता है की कितनी समानता है इन पेड़ों और मनुष्य के जीवन में. कुछ बड़े, कुछ छोटे, कुछ पेड़ जो बढ़ते-२ अचानक ही किसी कारणवश रुक गए. जिन्हें आप जब भी देखिये आप को लगेगा की इनमे कुछ पत्तियां कुछ टहनियां या कुछ शाखाएं और आएगी. जिन पेड़ों में यह टहनियाँ, शाखाएं और पत्ते आ जाते हैं वो एक बड़े से वृक्ष का रूप ले लेते हैं जिसे आप दूर से ही पहचान सकते है, लगभग सभी वृक्षों से अलग बड़ा, सुन्दर, अपने आप में सम्पूर्णता का अहसास करता हुआ.
आप को कभी ऐसा नहीं लगता की प्रत्येक (लगभग) इंसान के वही दो हाथ, दो पैर, एक चेहरा जिसपर लगी दो आँखें, एक नाक, एक मुंह, दो कान और सिर पर बालों का एक गुच्छा लेकिन इन सब के बाद भी हम देखने में एक दूसरे से कितने अलग है. ऐसा ही है पेड़ों के साथ, एक ही तरह के आम के पेड़, नीम के पेड़ लकिन आपस में देखने में अलग अलग.
जैसा की मैं कह रहा था की हमारा जीवन इन पेड़ों के जीवन जैसा ही है. कुछ पेड़ एक कतार में ,संकेत हैं उनका जो एक सुव्यस्थित जीवन व्यतीत कर रहे है, समाज के बनाए हुए मापदंडों पर, देखने में उसी कतार की तरह सुन्दर, सुव्यस्थित, एक दुसरे के सहयोग को तत्पर दिखाते हुए समाज और स्वयं की उन्नति की ओर प्रयत्नशील.
दूसरे पेड़ों के वो झुण्ड जो अपने आप में ही होड़ लगाते हुए दिखते हैं. एक दूसरे से धुप पाने की होड़, पानी की होड़, मिटटी की होड़. यह मुझे काफी हद तक समाज का आईना लग रहा है. मुझे ऐसा लगता है जैसे कतारें मुड कर झुण्ड का रूप लेती जा रही हैं जिनका केवल एक ही उद्देश्य है स्वयं का विकास करना उन्हें कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता की उनके इस होड़ में अन्य का क्या होगा.
तीसरा वो अकेला खड़ा पेड़ एक सुनसान वीराने में, बंजर हो चुकी जमीन पर शायद वह उस झुण्ड में से बचा पेड़ हो जिसने बाकी सभी के हिस्से का पानी, मिटटी, धूप ली और आज अकेला खड़ा है उस वीराने में जैसा लगता है वो ढूंढ रहा है किसी को अपनी आप-बीती या अपनी विजय गाथा सुनाने के लिए. लेकिन उसे सुनने वाला वहां कोई भी नहीं है सिवाए उन प्राणहीन पत्तों के जो कभी उसी के रहे होगे, उन तिनको के जो की संभवत: कहीं और से उड़ कर आए होगे और उन घासों के जो पानी के इन्तजार में इतनी सूख चुकी है की उनमे जीवन का कोई चिन्ह ही नहीं दिखाई देता.
कुछ पेड़ जो बढ़ते हुए रुक गये, जिनके एक पूर्ण वृक्ष होते हुए भी उनमे कुछ कमी रह गयी है. यह काफी कुछ वैसा ही प्रतीत होता है जब एक वृद्ध अपनी बीती हुई जिंदगी के बारे में सोचता है और उसे कुछ न कुछ कमी जरूर दिखाई देती है जो की उसे जीवन की सम्पूर्णता को अपूर्ण जीवन की ओर धक्का देती है. कुछ प्रसंगों में हम इस पेड़ को अपने जीवन से इस प्रकार भी जोड़ सकते हैं, जिस प्रकार आप अपना लक्ष्य अपने ठीक सामने देखते है परन्तु अचानक ही कुछ परिस्थितियां ऐसी बनती है की वह लक्ष्य आप से दूर होता प्रतीत होता है, वही लक्ष्य जो कुछ के लिए उनके जीवन का उद्देश्य है, वही लक्ष्य जिसके सपने देखते हुए आप प्रत्येक सुबह उठते हैं और उसी की सुनहरी कल्पना में आप का दिन भी बीत जाता है. वही लक्ष्य आज आपके सामने आ कर भी आप से दूर जा रहा है, वही लक्ष्य जिसे आपने सपने में देखा था आज प्रत्यक्ष में आप के सामने है. कुछ पल पहले तक आप को लगता था कि बस अगले ही पल आप उसे पा लेंगे, लेकिन अब वो ही लक्ष्य आप से दूर जा रहा है दूर और आप को नहीं पता कि ये लक्ष्य को पाने का अवसर आपके जीवन में फिर कब आएगा.., आएगा भी या नहीं.
अंत में वह पेड़ जो अपने आप में सम्पूर्ण है सुन्दर है विशाल है, यह शायद उस व्यक्ति कि प्रतिबिंबित करता है जिसने या तो हर वो लक्ष्य पा लिया जो उसने अपने लिए निर्धारित किया था या तो उसके जीवन में कोई लक्ष्य ही नहीं है वह मुक्त हैं सभी सामाजिक बड़ों से , समुद्र के ऊपर बहती हुई उस हवा जैसे जो बहती रहती है, कभी किसी दिशा में तो कभी किसी दिशा में.
खैर ट्रेन अब आगे निकल आई है और उन पेड़ों कि कतारों, झुंडों और उस अकेले पेड़ कि जगह कंक्रीट के जंगल ने ले ली है. शायद यह कोई शहर है, यहाँ भी कुछ अकेले खड़े पेड़ दिख रहे है लेकिन ये उनमे से कोई भी नहीं है जिनके बारे में मैंने आपको अभी बताया है….

bharat band – bloody hell!!!

Vivek Yadav — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 07:02:09 +0000

july 5th, 2010.

this day will go in my memories as a day when the whole concept of democracy was used to convert an otherwise normal day into worthless day. to my irriattion, first of all it’s being promoted as ‘bharat bandh’ or ‘भारत बन्ध” instead of ‘bharat band’ or ‘भारत बंद’. anyways, what the heck, everyone understood the meaning of it.

i demand to know how would it help our economy or country but who would i ask this question to. so i started to wonder over it myself. my logical brain tells me to analyse it logically, however, i don’t have much information over it. i gathered whatever i could from the bits and pieces of news and over-heard conversations.

it appears that the opposition called for the nation wide ‘bandh or band’ to protest the hike in current fuel price, even the left front is supporting it. they have a reason for it which seems logical at first. a man of my stature won’t accept it though, without mulling over it.

so i decide to think over it, i recall how the opposition lost the power because of the steep increase in the price of onion, a common household commodity. i also think about the state in which the states govern and run by left-front are, pathetic. now, you might start to think that i am a supporter of current government or to be precise of ‘congress’, well, i am not.

i support only the right decisions and steps taken by any government, be it is a one of ‘congress’, ‘bjp’ or anyone else. while, i support and appreciate the efforts taken by than ‘bjp’ goverment to create a road-infrastructure across india and opening indian market for foreign investors and companies by ‘congress’ government. work done by modi in gujrat also worth mentioning as well as by nayadu in andhra.

on the other front, i won’t forgive congress for imposing emergency in india, or bjp for demolishing babri-masjid only for a political profit. modi will not be spared for what he did during godhra riots. naydu, had already been punished for forgetting farmers/peasants, just to focus more on information technology.

i have my views on indian politics and on pretty much everything. however, i don’t like to get into arguments based on any of these. i simply believe to argue only over the things, on which you are in-charge to make some changes. i condemn this bharat band, i believe it will not achieve anything substantial as it doesn’t have the right motive. it’s a merely ill-politically- inclined show-off.

many of you will disagree with me but my views are too strong on this. even if the government will take back the price hike, i don’t believe, we will achieve something great. eventually, the price-hike is a need to compensate the subsidy, which has been eating our economy. we as a country need to work more effectively and save fuel and energy to compensate this fuel hike and the one’s which will have to come in future.

i had a conversation with someone yesterday and he supported this band claiming that the life of ‘aam aadmi‘ is going into gutter because of this ‘mahngai‘. well, yes it does effect a lot. forget lower class, even the middle class suffers a lot. on a personal front, in last 18 months, the rates for a ‘parantha‘ has changed drastically from inr 10 to inr 20, without any substantial change in my salary. it’s pretty much same and my appetite is also same. this is just an example how price-hikes been crippling life.

still, i don’t want to go on a strike. i believe, i need to increase my work efficiency and earn more and save more. i need to find ways to cop-up with these hikes. it doesn’t mean that i am in favor of these hikes but not more than often these hikes are necessary. you as well know how much ‘mahngai‘ is there now in the market. if you are from information technology industry. you must be aware of your exploitation in the name of recession. everything became costly, while salary and perks even went down.

we were told that the market was in bad shape, companies had to cut expenditures, where were the company savings? no one asked. no one complained when in such bad phase government increased salaries for it’s employees. people claimed government saved enough money in past to do it. why didn’t they ask the government to postpone it till recession goes away as they supported private companies?

even now, when recession is over, no-one has been supporting the demands made by us to give us a raise. so must we stop working and come out on roads? no, i don’t believe it will help our condition. i remember a japanese story. workers in a japanese shoe factory were really disappointed with their owner, when the talks failed, the workers decided to protest.

they didn’t stop working and came out on roads like us, rather they stopped making shoes for right feet and doubled the left-feet. when owners accepted the demands they did the same for the left feet. in this way they produced the same number of shoes, they were supposed to. i believe this is a perfect example of protest without hurting the economy.

people talk about the need of strike, to shut down things in order to pretest, jerks walk out of your fucking lives and look at the people who can’t feed themselves on a normal day when they work because their wages are too low. these are the people who wake up in the morning just in the hope to get some work in the day to eat dinner. yet, they sleep hungry at times and those nights are frequent. how will the feed themselves?

did you ever think of this morons? i hate and condemn such people who believe in blocking the highway just because someone died in a road accident or beat innocent people because some actor, who they considered a god dies because of normal causes. bloody fuck, if he was really a god, how did he die man? or break havoc in form of riots just to get some kind of reservation because they are not capable enough to be a man.

people use your brains and say no to such ‘band’s‘. if we have to protest and we believe we will have to because no government is full of saints and people who really put people before themselves. we must find creative and innovative ways, after all we are no idiots, we are simply basterds

post script: i have not been writing for last few week for several reason, the major being my website had some technical issues. as well as i was too busy in my personal life. it appears now that i would be in the same busy mode for couple of more months. i just hope, i would be able to write during them, even in bits and pieces.

life is beautiful – growing up – I

Vivek Yadav — Mon, 31 May 2010 18:31:55 +0000

when i started writing about my life, i didn’t know that there would be anyone interested to read it. now, it appears that i have a bunch of readers who read these posts with sheer interest. “life is beautiful“, i chose it as the thread topic for such post, which would be based on my life stories, as a tribute to the movie “life is beautiful“. it’s one of the top class movies which tells us, no matter what happens in life, no matter how hard it gets going, you must always keep spreading happiness around. if you haven’t watch this movie. take my advice into consideration, watch it.

life is big and events are bigger, to summarize all and write about them is no easy and small task. so, i decided to sub-divide it into separate sub sections and than numbered the post. so while, in “life is beautiful – the beginning – X” i write about the events which took place when i was too young to understand things, “life is beautiful – growing up – X” would be dedicated to the events which took place while i learned from events but couldn’t possibly argue over them and “life is beautiful – shaping up -X” will deal with events which made me what i am. as and when i start any news sub-series i will update y’all on the philosophy behind it.

today, i want to talk about, shopping with parents. i come from a background where the word shopping doesn’t have it’s exact meaning. in normal world, shopping is a leisure activity but for us it was a chore of life. you don’t go to shopping, you go to buy things. however, you hardly go to buy things for yourself, it’s a ritual completed by the head of the family. he goes out and buys things, be it clothes, cosmetics, necessities, wardrobe, etc… for everyone.

so the point of having your say is kind of negligible. you see daddy has to manage the budget and fulfill everyone’s desires and needs; with a limited budget and fixed amount of money coming into house, desires came last on the list. mostly, desired things were weighed on the scale of need and necessity, compatibility and multiple-uses. i mean, why do you need something from subset a, why not to take it from a universal set. well, sometimes subset elements are better but than elements from universal set are versatile and cheaper and durable.

so, let’s say if you want a light-blue (ocean) high-neck sweater, you would be suggested to think about its comparison with a normal blue v-neck sweater, which sucks from your point of view, obviously. you would try to argue but it wouldn’t work effectively as you are not going to shop and obviously ‘you don’t know anything, you will do a mistake’ is a frequent line your ears will be feed by. finally, you will get the blue v-neck sweater.

than you grow up a little and you go along shopping. firstly, you would be taken to a place you will not like at all, though, i don’t blame anyone for it, it’s the place which fits the bill and have fixed price. now, imagine for a moment that you like a designer shirt, which will go well with your black trouser. you ask for it and a nod comes in reply for the sake of it. than all of a sudden there appears a blue-check shirt. you would be told that it will go well with your all trousers and you would be reminded of a fact that in some movie some film star wore it.

now, obviously coming from a middle class family, you have been taught one thing, never get into an argument with your elders. now imagine this, you wanna say that you don’t like it but in order to do so, you have to be ready to counter the arguments. is it possible to do so in a showroom? well, from my experience, no. though, if you can do so and if you do so, well no need to write about the catastrophic consequences. finally, you end up getting the same blue-check-shirt.

few years down the lane, constant pressure from your mom on your dad to get you things you like results into a phenomenal activity, you get to go with your dad to shop things of your choice . though, it’s more or less the same shop and same collection. again, you like a black shirt, you sister suggested you about it before you left house for shopping. so, you pick it up and ask your dad to buy it for you. as usual, dad talk about all the things and try to divert your mind to the creme-shirt.

you become a bit adamant so for a change he buys the black shirt for you. now, you get the bill done and get it packed and you are very happy. you come out of the shop to go home. here starts the real thing which made me write this entire post. dad points out at some random boy, who, to your screwed-up luck, is in the same creme-shirt you left behind and to worsen the matter, looking good as well. imagining that some people have really fucked up luck, so guess what, a few minutes later daddy points on someone who is in the same black shirt you bought and to your luck he is or looks like a lofar.

anyways, you still try to convince yourself. come-on, it was just one off day. that’s all you can do, what else you can do. you will listen to so many logics on your way back home that by the time you reach home, you would be wanting to burn this black shirt and go roam naked if need to. it doesn’t end here though, as soon as you reach home, mum and sister ask you about the things you bought, when they see the shirt. wow!!

starts again, dad says “what is there to wow about? there were so many good shirts but your “sahabjaade” wanted this piece of crap. i don’t understand which kind of taste he has got, senseless, tasteless, style-junk, who doesn’t know anything”. in short, you are being realized that “you are good for nothing“. it doesn’t end here, anytime in future someone good would be seen in the creme-shirt or someone bad would be seen in black-shirt, you would be reminded of this.

next time onwards, whenever you go out for shopping you will never ask for what you want. you promptly will ask you dad for something he likes for you and you would express your feelings that this is the best thing in the world you can get. after-all you wouldn’t like to go through the same turmoil again.

one of the guys who knows my profession side real well is v. balaji, he often asked me about the origin of one of quality of “not giving any option which won’t get my work done to any subordinate”. i couldn’t answer it first but when balaji met my father, he figured himself. now, i also know it. those sessions which happened with me very often made me realize this. even though my father said “i never force him, he is free to do whatever he likes” while i was growing up. it actually meant that i was free to choose either of option 1 or option 1 out of two options.

for instance, there were biology and maths to be chosen from. knowing that i didn’t know anything else than (if i knew what i wanted than i would rather have chosen numbers or words instead of mathematics, there lies my natural talent. more of it later.) and i hated biology. i had two options to choose from “maths” and “biology read maths”. so i selected maths. see the beauty of it. i am sure if my dad would have been a manager of any information technology’s multinational. bill gates, steve jobs and eric schmidt would have been asking for mercy.

you know what i meant. you eventually choose what is there for you selected by him, both options are same. it really doesn’t matter what you choose, you are going to do what he wants. reality is, that times goes by, you grow up to buy things yourself for you. now, you realize that you simply don’t know how to buy something. well, guys, welcome to the world…

does my icu mood affect you??

Vivek Yadav — Wed, 26 May 2010 16:49:25 +0000

this is important, very important. so think before you answer this question and the question i have for you is; does my icu mood affect you?

off late, i have not been writing much or to be precise i have not been finishing the drafts to make them publishable. while the number of drafts have been increasing with every passing hour. they all stuck at a similar position and that could easily be denoted by a single word “incomplete”.

one of the articles i really want to finish at the earliest is about my past few weekends, which i spent with kushagra & smriti, amit & smitha, ravi & vandana, faizan and priya. getting e-smart-II and india of my dreams-II are also there. two of the most intense and gross of all “everything is relative -&” and “&- nothing is relative” will follow them soon. there have been some major changes in the password protected posts as well, which will be pretty much evident enough soon. baba ramdev and his political ambitions also been attracting me lately.

there are quite a few reasons behind articles staying “incomplete”. the major being my mood swings, “oh yeah, i too suffer”, while not many of you people will believe it but it’s true. more than often my mood takes a swing and again …. and again; it keeps doing same thing. my current roommate has given one of my mood swings a name as well. he calls it icu mood, i suppose it comes from the fact that when i am in this particular mindset my situation resembles to someone who had been to icu (intensive care unit) recently.

in such times, i tend not to speak much, i keep quite and stay at one place staring at something, it appears like i am in hibernation. while, i may be thinking about a lot. i choose just not to share anything. at the best i will answer to a couple of direct questions asked to me in minimal number of words. often, i would nod and very often i ask to be left alone for some time. i don’t pick up calls (except a few and specially that one very special), don’t reply to sms, chat-pings, scraps, tweets etc.

one of the reasons, which always have troubled people who find me in such mood is the fact that i don’t answer their question. specially the one “what happened?”. in such times, i just want to be left alone and let me keep staring on something. truly, it was a lie. i really do not want to be left alone. i want to taken care of (in non-murder sense). the reason i console myself to be left alone is the fact that not many understand me in such situation.

normally, my icu moods are a by-product of something done by someone or at occasions something done by myself to someone or to myself as well. this is the reason, i try not to discuss most of them. if someone else is involved i would have to protect his/her identity and in other case why would i tell my own secrets to anyone. though, there are people i get open to but there are too busy in their life’s now, it appears.

during 2009 i came back to social life after my 3 years stint in darkness of a metro city combined with corporate life. it felt too good in the beginning that i kinda of fell in love with it again. slowly, came the time of my increased mood swings because of someone else. i wouldn’t say that i didn’t have many mood swings during my first tenure in bangalore but the difference was that they were mostly because of myself.

i realized that mood-swings hurt but it hurts more when it’s caused by someone else. after-all you don’t expect anyone to hurt you, where/when, he/she knows it hurts most. may be this is because, when you are the reason of your own mood-swings; you could console yourself that you are a mere human who does all culpas and name them destiny or invent god to be credited the same or few more things which he/she doesn’t understand.

one part of human nature doesn’t accept the fact that others are human too, they could also display such characteristics. it always thinks that because i have never done anything wrong to them in my knowledge, intentionally so they also must not do it to me. but it forgets that it too does the same things at times, otherwise from where comes the erratic balance in this act, like all others on planet.

surprisingly, this year i have decided to give some of it back to all. i have already started it and i intend to continue it for long (at-least for an year; if i don’t see significant changes i will drop it). my close friends and old roommate have been on the receiving end of it as the first person, after all he always have enjoyed getting all good things first hand from me. so i am going to treat him the same way entire year to remind him of all he did. i would do anything and everything which is not expected from me while making sure it doesn’t take him down in any perspective.

it’s not because we have any bad-blood between us. it’s just a lesson so that he doesn’t do such things in future. when a calm and rational guy like me can retaliate than everyone else can. it doesn’t mean that i am not a friend with him anymore as you can see that i still love him the same way as i always have. it’s just that i want to bring a balance to life.

i had given my peace of mind to someone else because of someone else and i guess i should let him enjoy my mood-swing for a while. these are some people who i never want to hurt, even in my dreams but than who wants to be a good boy. दुनिया कल जलती है तो आज जल जाए मेरी बला से, चाहो तो मै माचिस लाकर आ लगा दूं खुद ही…

it’s not just one off story, it’s about everyone who has done something or else to screw up my mood in last one year. i am not considering time before that. i posses a very sharp mind and i remember each and every act by everyone. it’s just the time that i have decided to give it back a little. i know that usually i don’t do it but i have done it earlier and i know how good i am at it. i wouldn’t hesitate bleed to death myself, if it gives you pain.

i have been accused of things, i never did. i have been called a schemer for simple fun-plots. i have been left hurt for pleasing someone else while i told everyone i don’t mind big things but don’t hurt me on emotional issues. i have been treated as an option while i made you priority in my life. i will have my vengeance and i will not spare anyone, no matter how close it could be and how much i loved him.

rest be assured, i wouldn’t give a hint to anyone what i am gonna do next. yes, i have all planned and i am not gonna share it with anyone. you will get smiles in return to the smiles you brought on my face and you will be taken in tears for every single you have caused. no exceptions/ no mercy.

time pass by aakash seth

Aakash Seth — Thu, 20 May 2010 05:02:21 +0000

written by aakash seth, who joins the writing team for my blog for guest articles, he is one of the guys whose reads a lot and has a very clear cut view on most of the things yet like most of us, he is confused for rtl. this is his first post on my blog.

it is just another morning , it always have been like this. but does it affect anything? everything around me is same – same sun, same light, same people, their routine activities, same food, same vehicles, same rush, everything is same but how does it affect me?

may be just being chained down to routine gives me such a feeling or may be it’s just that i feel pathetic about it as i cannot change things around and do nothing but just curse everything which comes by my way. yawn… then day begin and you see some one on the washbasin, someone running to toilet and the time is just 06:00 am.

oh, not again, why did i wake up so early? what will i do for next few hour (few cuss words just to myself) as everyone is fast asleep. i try to tell myself, come on; just pass the time on bed, don’t get up. cool to know that it’s 08:00 am now, some people have gone somewhere, others are waking up for their turn to join the force to make a difference in this world.

shit, it’s still only 09:00 am, now what do i do? ok, i got the newspaper, same old stuff with new packet. i hate to know money is the only driving force every where but still it serves me better to pass another hour. now i m alone. i am fully awake with eyes wide shut. how to pass time? should i call someone. what is your update? what he is doing? what is your plan for the day, listen to me pal, you can do this in such way and blah blah…

humm some more time(an hour or so) passed. reading something and watching movies make me feel better like an escape from routine and sometimes from reality(which i don’t want to avoid because it is only thing which is not routine) lacking the stock. but i am just not interested into reading and watching movies any more but still to kill time movies are a good thing. it’s sometime around 13:00, precisely 13:30. yippee , i am ready to join the force now (few more curses) .

i quickly get down to basement, start the bike, push the throttle till it can take no more and hit the road, sun is smiling with its full brightness, fuck, not again. i hate traffic jams (good waste of another 15 – 20 min) some 25 min later i find myself removing my sandals and entering the temple of force also known as office (i am not excited to be there but currently best place to kill time )

t314495 – asd@1234 , setha – pass@word123 aakash@123 setha … i have logged in. now what, i start the day by joining the group who are praising some other group of people then joining another group who are cursing some other group. give your expert comment. ya ya, supervisor is up with some task and he wants you just you to do it — what is it? do some monitoring, solve client query, create some thing here and there, do stats gathering for that.

thank god i am busy for some 6-7 hours (just getting out for a puff or a cutting, no, thank you, but i am not hungry). 20:30 or 21:00 everyone has gone only 3 people sitting in the office and one of them is me. yups, dad call is coming, he likes that i am enjoying my work and same stuff he talks about almost everyday, i feel good, he cares. mum takes the phone next.

mum says hello “khana khaya ki nahi”. ” haan yaar aap hamesha hi khane ke peeche kyo padi rahti ho” i reply (ok, sorry but i lie here about things she wants me to do everyday, which i don’t do everyday), haan ghar pe sab acche hain. here i have also got same queries like “aap kya kar rahi ho?”, “dawai li ki nahi?”, “aaj awaz kuch down si lag rahi hain?”, “kya hua tabiyaat thik hain ki nahi?”; (and here she lies to me nahi beta kuch nahi bas aise hi kuch kaam kar rahe the, so thak gaye hain). in approximately 3 minutes i say bye. i love you mom, dad

and now i pick phone and start calling others who are waiting for my call. yeah, i have got few people who wait for my call at this time as well . here i am the guardian, talking to them – blah blah, same bullshit every time but it makes me feel more happy. now i am fully awake by mind (not by eyes or body ). i get out of office at 10:15. by 10:20 once again my ass is on the bike and as i hit the road at speed of 80-90 kmh on the way to home.

meanwhile, i decide whom to meet or where to go first and do so as soon as i get down from my bike. this is the best time you are sitting and enjoying time with people you like (either face to face or on phone ), though we generally talk about same stuff everyday and pull each other’s legs ,which is pretty much a routine but unlike other routines, i like this routine .

it’s around 01:00 am or 01:30 am, my brain says, hey start making the goodnight calls to everyone or you will be wishing goodnight in their sleep. once again an hour or so on phone. yes, i spent lot of time on mobile, which would be on number one in list of the stuff i hate most. the moon is up in the sky, everybody is down preparing themselves to join the force again in couple of hours and with full energy and being fresh again and now i am not feeling sleepy…

aakash seth, 19 may 2010, 16:00 ist

disclaimer : i would like to point out that all views expressed in this column are those of the writer and i might not totally and necessarily agree with them. any credit positive or negative must be given to him.

कुछ लिखूं by atul singh

Atul Singh — Mon, 17 May 2010 18:26:32 +0000

written by atul singh, who joins the writing team for my blog for guest articles, he is one of the guys whose thought flow is really amazing, read it to realize it. this is his first post on my blog.

कुछ लिखने का मन करता है लेकिन क्या लिखूं? किसपर लिखूं? लिखने के लिए सबसे पहली आवश्यकता है विषय की, लेकिन सच बताऊँ यही तो नदारद है, कम्बक्त मिल जाए तो मै भी कुछ लिख लेता. क्या पता शराब के बारे में कुछ लिखने बैठता और मै भी “मधुशाला” लिख देता. लेकिन ये विषय कहाँ से लाऊं. हालांकी मै एक ऐसे देश में विराजमान हूँ जहाँ विषयों की कोई भी कमी नही है.

जी नहीं मै अमेरिका, पाकिस्तान या अफगानिस्तान की बात नहीं कर रहा हूँ ,मै तो बात कर रहा हूँ “सारे जहाँ से अच्छा हिन्दुस्ता हमारा” माफ़ कीजिएगा ये लाइन मैंने नहीं लिखी ये तो “इकबाल साहब” की लाइन है.मै तो हिंदोस्ता लिखता ही नही ,नहीं तो क्या पता की मुझे हिंदुत्व का समर्थक मान कर सरकार मेरे पीछे पड़ जाती | भाई भारत में तो धर्मं निरपेक्षता का एक ही मतलब है “एंटी हिन्दू “|

ख़ैर मै यहाँ तत्कालीन भारत एवं उसकी समस्यायों पर नहीं लिखना चाहता, ये तो हमारे देश के प्रत्येक चाय की दुकान ,केशकर्तनालय (मै यहाँ ‘नाई की दुकान’ शब्द का प्रयोग नहीं करना चाहूँगा क्यूंकिइससे जातीवाद फैलता है) और संसद में चर्चा का विषय रहती है |माफ़ करें परन्तु मै हमारी संसद या विधान सभा एवं वहां के बाशिंदों की तुलना किसी भी कोंड़ से चाय की दुकान ,केशकर्तनालय एवं वहां के लोगों से नहीं कर रहा हूँ मै अपने देश की एक सम्मानित एवं स्वाभिमानी प्रजाति का अनादर नहीं कर सकता | जी हाँ ,आपने बिलकुल सही सोचा यह सम्मानित एवं स्वाभिमानी प्रजाति चाय की दुकान केशकर्तनालय में पाई जाती है |

लिखने के लिए राजनीति एवं राजनीतिज्ञ, जिन्हें अब नेता कहा जाता है हमारे देश का सर्वप्रिय विषय है | इसपर लिखने के लिए आपको केवल लिखना आना चाहिए और आपको इस भारत देश जन्म लेना पड़ेगा, बाकि आप स्वयं से कुछ भी लिखो सब राजनीति में मिल जायेगा और यदि आप कोई आदर सूचक शब्द (जिसे जन सामान्य की भाषा में भद्दी गाली कहा जाता है ) का प्रयोग करते है तो वह किसी न किसी नेता के चरित्र पर चिरतार्थ हो ही जाएगी |परन्तु समस्या ये है की राजनीति या राजनीतिज्ञों पर लिखना तो समय,स्याही और कागज तीनों की बर्बादी है |
हालाँकि लिखने के लिए भारतीय रेल एवं उसकी सुविधाए प्रमुखतः खाद्य पदार्थ और उसमे भी चाय जिसके मूल्य एवं वाह्य सज्जा को छोड़ कर विगत दशकों में उसके स्वाद में कोई भी परिवर्तन नहीं हुआ है (ये वैसी ही वाहियात है जैसी १० वर्ष पहले थी) परन्तु सरकार के विरुद्ध लिखना किसी भी समय विशेष पर देशद्रोह में परिणित हो कर मेरे लिए मुसीबत पैदा कर सकता है |

लिखने के लिए तो गरीबी भी एक गरीब किन्तु अच्छा विषय है लेकिन यदि उसपर हमारे नेता ही लिखे (लिखवाए) या बोले तो अच्छा है | वैसे भी मै नेताओं के मुह से बात और जानवरों के मुह से खाना नहीं छीनता| मै यहाँ मेनका गाँधी से माफ़ी चाहूँगा परन्तु मै यह भी साफ़ कर देना चाहूँगा की मैंने किसी भी जानवर की तुलना नेताओं से नहीं की है | मै इतना बेगैरत नहीं हूँ की बेजुबानो के बारे में कुछ भी गलत लिखूं या बोलूं |

लेकिन इतनी सारी दिमागी कसरत के बाद भी मेरी समस्या वहीँ की वहीँ है – आखिर मैं लिखूं किस विषय पर ,भारतीय फिल्मों के बारे में मै लिख नहीं सकता क्यूंकि वो पहले से ही कहीं और से लिखी होती है

(अधिकांशतः) और जो कहीं और से नहीं लिखी होती है उन्हें कोई (अधिकांशतः) देखना या लिखना पसंद नहीं करता|
मैं लिखूं किस पर “युवा वर्ग के सामने समस्याएँ ” यह विषय अच्छा तो है परन्तु इस पर बहुत ही भरी मात्रा में साहित्यिक कार्य चल रहा है | आप को किसी भी किताब की दूकान (अधिकांशतः रेलवे स्टेशन एवं बस स्टैंड) पर इस विषय से सम्बंधित बहुत सी किताबें मिल जाएगी | इन्हें कुछ लोग खरीदते भी है परन्तु जिस प्रकार युवाओं के सामने समस्याएँ बढती जा रही है उसी प्रकार खरीदे जाने पर भी इन किताबों की संख्या ,तो इस प्रकार ये विषय भी गया हाथ से |

बच्चों के बारे में लिखने का कोई तर्क नहीं बनता क्यूंकि आज के परिवेश में बचपन इतनी तीव्रता से समाप्त हो रहा है की इसे भी “save our tiger ” की तरह से ही प्रचारित करना होगा |

शिक्षा पद्धति के बारे में मै कुछ नहीं लिख सकता क्यूंकि यदि शिक्षा पद्धति वाकई इतनी अच्छी होती तो मै लिख नहीं रहा होता |

भारत-पाक संबंधों के बारे में भी मै नहीं लिख सकता क्यूंकि उसपर समाचार पत्रों का एकाधिकार है वैसे भी मै किसी के पेट पर लात नहीं मारता |
अपने जीवन के बारे में लिखना भी एक अच्छा विषय है परन्तु केवल तभी तक जब तक आप कोई प्रसिद्ध व्यक्ति ये नेता हो अन्यथा ये भी व्यर्थ है क्यूंकि आत्मकथा का तात्पर्य ही यही होता है की अपनी आत्मा का गला दबा कर अच्छी- अच्छी कहानियाँ लिखो जिसमे अधिकांशतः नायक आप ही है |

लगता है कुछ लिखना मेरे लिए उतना ही दुष्कर है जितना की कुछ करना लेकिन यदि मुझे कभी कोई विषय मिला तो मै ऐसा लिखूंगा की पूरी दुनिया पढेगी और कहेगी वाह !क्या लिखा है |

वैसे इतनी माथापच्ची के बाद मुझे एक शीर्षक मिला है ” लिखने को विषय नहीं न करने को कुछ काम, तो अब चलो भाईओं हम करते है आराम “|

atul singh, 17 may 2010, 22:30 ist

disclaimer : i would like to point out that all views expressed in this column are those of the writer and i might not totally and necessarily agree with them. any credit positive or negative must be given to him.

it’s a dog’s (man’s) life, after all

Vivek Yadav — Tue, 11 May 2010 13:09:35 +0000

lately, i have not been able to pen down my thoughts, a lot has been going through my head. the sense of crucial time being lost. however, i somehow want to write something which seems far from possible at this point in time. so i am thinking to share a story with you all.

this story comes from archives, one of close pals sent me this before i launched the campaign to get myself into corporate world. at that time i didn’t find it realistic but now after having experiences of corporate like for more than few years, i find it true, word to word. so i share it with you all…

*****start*****

a butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. he shoos him away. but later, the dog is back again. so, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

he takes the note and it reads “can i have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please“. the dog has money in its mouth, as well. the butcher looks inside and, there is a ten dollar note there. so he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth.

the butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. so off he goes. the dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. they do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

the dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. the butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. the butcher follows the dog into the bus. then the dog shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. the butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus.

the dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. as soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop. it opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door.

as it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. it goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. the butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

the butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. “what in heaven’s name are you doing? the dog is a genius. he could be on tv, for the life of me!” to which the guy responds: “you call this clever? this is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key.”

moral of the story: you may continue to exceed onlooker’s expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’s expectations. it’s a dog’s (man’s) life after all …

*****end*****

well, as they say “men are dog” i guess it befits it….

and for me it’s more true though i like monkey or horse more for their astute qualities, still; as someone said “men like meat, bones are for dogs”. well, i still like bones; guess it makes me a dog. i just hope a cute one…

painless pain isn’t pain…

Vivek Yadav — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:44:47 +0000

pain, pain could be defined easily. don’t you trust me; check google. oh, it only tells you about physical pain. so is there anything else? yes, there is emotional pain, short term pain, long term pain, temporary pain and permanent pain are few of the types. still, the main are emotional and physical. could physical & emotional pain be classified into something else?

the way i look it, sensitivity and tolerance are two major factors which could help us in the systematic categorization. for instance; i have low sensitivity for physical pain while high sensitivity for emotional pain. at the other hand i have high tolerance for physical pain but low tolerance for emotional pain.

personally, i love the sweet pain physical and emotional both. i love the pain after exercise, the pain after getting needled. i hate pain though, i hate my headaches. i hate toothaches. i have just realized i hate most of the aches and pains except those sweet pains. guess, i gotta be more strong but i guess i already withstand my pains a lot; just that i don’t like them.

the quotient of sensitivity and tolerance differs from man to man, woman to woman. it’s a general belief that men have more endurance for physical pain than emotional and it’s just opposite for women. it may be true for most but it is surely not true for all. men are as prone to feel emotional pain as women.

they might not be too exposed to certain situations where they could express it freely that they have emotional pain. as they are considered to be or supposed to be stronger sex. they are not more stronger than women to overcome emotional pain or physical pain. men and women both are human first and are equally prone to any kind of pain.

one of the biggest icon of emotional pain in india was a man, named devdas. and as far as physical pain goes, given a chance to any man if he would rather take menstrual cycle in exchange of emotional pain resistance shield. you know what his answer would be, don’t ya? they sure can hide it pretty well, though.

any woman is better at hiding facts as long as she is not hurt physically, she wants to expose part of her personality where she feels pain; she cries, cribs, complains. when a woman is hurt emotionally she can hide it beneath the mountains of emotions. while a man can hide physical pain easily but give him a chance to expose his emotional part and you can see his weak side rather easily.

so, at this point in time how could i define emotional and physical pain? um… lemme try. they both have few similarities and few differences. on the similarity front both hurts when you get them and on dissimilarity front physical pain goes away with the time, emotional pain might stay for forever. medicine, cure and doctors can heal you physical pain but to heal the emotional pain you need love and care.

i have completed roughly 30-40% of my expected stay on planet earth and i have seen and experienced whatever i could have while growing up to this age. though, i believe that age is just as a number as status is geography . still, it’s one of those things which are irreversible; technically.

i have met some very strong men and women and some very weak men and women. i have also met some people who are average, i would say most of the men and women i met fall into this category. well, what distinguish some of them is their m0menteneous resistive power to withstand pain, physical and emotional both.

look around you and you can find some guys from each category. i just have a small favor to ask you, never-ever hurt your friends at the point where you know it will hurt them, if you do it when what’s the need of enemies. leave somethings to the enemies. i ask for it because i have ample experience of it, that too, first hand.

if your enemy stabs you in the chest and your friends hits you with a stick, your friend’s assault will hurt you more; emotionally and your enemy’s assault will hurt you more physically. you know physical pain goes away easily but not the emotional pain.

i think it describes the difference clearly between emotional and physical pain. oh before i leave, i would tell you the funny incident that gave me the idea for this post’s name. one day i was in hospital for routine check-up and i heard a doctor saying “sir ji don’t worry, when we give an injection with this gun. the pain becomes painless.” well, it might be true, i never got a shot from such injection gun but i still believe “painless pain isn’t pain”…

obsession : movies & friends

Vivek Yadav — Tue, 04 May 2010 13:19:02 +0000

“vivek is obsessed with movies” anyone who knows me a bit would tell you this and it’s almost true. anyone who knows me more than “knowing in bits and pieces” would also tell you that “vivek is obsessed for his friends” well, it’s true as well, really. i solemnly swear i am obsessed with movies and my friends. and truly i am super-duper obsessed with the dialogues in my favorite movies. i really love excellent combination of simple words.

today, i write about my love to movies and my love for my friends on a same platform because of one reason and one reason only; i am disappointed with two of friends. specially, because they both are into movies or trying to be. i feel they are mere trying only, they are not giving their 100%. i have felt it for long enough now that i want to make it public now. i have told them in person a few times now and apparently it didn’t do any good.

though, i have been raised in a fashion in which a concept was blended in my blood: give 100% to everything you do. my father is a strong believer of it and so am i. the only difference between us is the fact; i don’t practice it always and i preach it often while he always preaches and practices it. it’s really sad that i don’t practice it always but i do in things which i really like and love to do and lemme tell you there aren’t many such things.for instance i love watching special kind of movies and specially listening to their dialogues.

i know it might not make sense to you that how could i take a hobby so seriously, well, i do take it very seriously. i don’t mix anything with my movies, i always watch a movie with utmost sincerity. strange but true, i watch movies so seriously that apparently, priya have really made it a point to not to watch a movie with me ever again, i guess i was too engrossed in movie(runn, it was crap movie to worsen the matter) that i ignored her for most of time while the movie was running except for some moments here and there to ask her if she was ok. obviously, it’s a big turn off for a girl.

i don’t like if you disturb me while i am watching a movie first time, oh, yeah i watch a movie repeatedly. specially a movie with excellent dialogues and dialogue delivery by the actors. no doubt about the fact that body-language and facial expression do make a real-deep impact on the viewer but i have always felt that audio/sound do play a huge vital role in the success of a movie, not just the commercial but also critical success. you name any great movie and i would tell you about it’s dialogues part.

the intonation, pauses, breathing technique, pitch and loudness of voice, pronunciation, grammar, the accent which suits the movie-script. emotions and humor (dark or bright) well knitted in dialogues makes a movie memorable. this is why i like movies and love to watch them again and again. this is why i bought an external hdd to keep such movies with me all the time.

the whole point is the to be a successful actor you gotta have command over at-least one language, if you are in usa. though if you are in india you should have command over atleast two languages : hindi & english, anything else would be a bonus. and it’s not just the know-how of language, one must me excellent in reading-writing-speaking any particular language with a neutral accent. neutral accept helps when one has to grab a different accent for a role based on a different entity.

it’s true that katrina, upen patel and few more other film-stars are there to defy it; but who is the heavens count them as actors. mr amitabh bachchan once said with a heavy heart that today’s actors read their hindi dialogues written in english, what a shame (he was referring to guys like upen patel). while when we watch movies like haasil, we simply fall in love with the dialogues. behind this there is hard work of years, irfan & ashutosh were just fabulous in the movie, weren’t they?

so when i see abhishek(bakri) and atul(lambu) not working at all on their language, it hurts. they might be working hard, and i say might be, on their acting skills but it doesn’t show off because i can’t capture their looks in normal life but i sure can keep an ear on their language, accent and intonation in any language known to me. i have a very keen ear if not sharp and i pay attention to anything being said around me, may be this is why few people think i am a good listener.

you see, while abhishek has a lot of potential and skills which supersedes and complements his not-so-heroic looks, i feel he could and should be one of the great actors. though i am one of his biggest critics because he doesn’t impress me with his acting skills, often. abhishek, as i know have a very limited casting span as far as acting in movies is concerned. roles would be less glorious and less glamorous but i am sure that someday there would be stories written around his acting skills.

at the same node atul has impressed me only a couple of times with his talent but he has the versatile looks, he could fit in any role easily with little bit of touch up but his language not only sucks but irritates. i just hope that he takes my advice seriously and starts working on it. he could be a super-star if he works hard on it and if he gets the hand of god on his luck. he needs to take his good care and realize what is it that he wants in his life before it gets too late.

they both have a very good ally and friend who they could and should inspire from, sometimes i feel envy with mohit’s efforts to master the pronunciation, meaning and uses in a sentence in different ways. he really works hard on it and it shows off from time to time.

i wish someday you guys will be successful and most importantly happy with your life’s as your are the rare ones in my college-friend circle who are following their dreams and passion (though, i strongly feel you could do better). i just hope i will be alive to see you guys enjoying that day and you will send me premier passes to watch your movies (or i will get one via book my show )

hope that you guys will take it seriously and sportingly because as atul says if someone criticizes you; it means that you are being noticed. and i say when a friend criticizes you, it’s time to wake up and keep working on it until you find your target. to be more intense and supportive i conclude it with a line of swami vivekananda which came after the first one.

उत्तिष्ठत: जाग्रत : प्राप्य : वरन् निबोधत : … which loosely translate to arise, awake, having reached the wise, be enlightened…because i believe the first one arise, awake and sleep/stop not till the goal is reached is not enough…

my first : nikah

Vivek Yadav — Mon, 03 May 2010 15:18:40 +0000

sunday, may 2nd 2010. it was my first nikah in bangalore.

even if i could take the liberty to say and if my memories are helping me right, it was my first ever nikah.

eh.. don’t get confused, bhawnao ko samjho yaar. i attended first nikah ever in my life.

faizan bhai was gracious enough to invite to attend his brother’s nikah and kind enough to make arrangements for me to see the nikah procedures as well, while it’s an honor which is not given to non-family or relatives easily. i happened to meet a couple of old colleagues from my ex-job as well.

though, i was late to the function and missed most of the traditional-rituals. actually, i didn’t reach the mosque on time and missed entire nikah . i really wanted to witness that “kubool hai, kubool hai” scenario. may be next time, surely during akshey bhai’s nikah and possibly in faizan’s or any other friends nikah.

the function was supposed to take place at samad house, near safina plaza, commercial street. i reached there and as soon as i took the turn towards samad house. i started to feel uncomfortable, the gathering was a complete burqa laden crowd.

trust me, i started to feel so uncomfortable that i called faizan bhai and asked him to come out to get me in because by now i have started to imagine an environment in form of dungeons or moats. well, as faiz bhai came out and greeted me with warmness and took me in, my perception changed but not completely.

it was nice place, setup was pretty much similar to a hindu shaadi, color combination was as such that it was indicating a muslim-marriage but it would have indicated a hindu-marriage with same ease. a nice mix-up of pink and golden with white color made it a nice place to be.

it was same chaotic environment as it happens to be in any hindu marriage, with lot’s of chaos and lack of order. people spreading in all corners and talking about current issue, while in northern india it’s mostly about politics, here it was about community.

though, i noticed two major difference there from any hindu marriage. one, on the ground floor where the main reception was : none of the muslim women were there. they all were on the first floor. even a different entry point was created for them for easy access to first floor and isolation from men.

two, the crowd wasn’t versatile. while it could be credited to the family setup. only people who i saw there who didn’t look muslim were mostly faizan or his brother’s friends. well, it’s pretty much similar in hindu marriage as well. as in my area muslim density is not too great, so it appears logical. while about b’lore’s hindu density : no comment.

and for the first difference, i think it’s probably their culture. while, i was pretty surprised to see it as when i visited a muslim-friends-family in dehradun, their women also had food together with men on the same dastarkhan (which doesn’t happen in hindu’s normally). even in traditional-hindu marriages women eat after men and mostly in a separate sitting.

when i asked my hosts in dehradun about it, they had a logical reason for it : if women eat only when men are done having food, there wouldn’t be any pieces of meat available for them. it made sense. so in a sense, hindus and muslims aren’t very different when it comes to the eating customs for their women.

however, i would have to say : hindu women in general are given much more freedom to be around and mingle and enjoy the function. some even say, hindu functions and rituals are mostly designed to help them breathe easy. it may very well not go down with some of the people for most of the occasions but in a sense it’s true sometims.

well, all the differences and similarities i talked about were among the middle-class-traditional-hindu/muslim-marriage. so don’t whack me for my thoughts and thinking. anyways, enough of thinking over it. every community has highs n lows. though, i always believe in the freedom of soul which is seldom in any community. more about it when i write on religion, it’s been pending for sometime now and i have it in mind.

for now, let’s talk about food and than close it down. well, the food was superb. i didn’t expect such taste in southern india, well, i would have to give it to muslim-community to maintain their unified ways across the world with some small local adjustments.

the chicken curry was well prepared. it was not very spicy though very it was heavy, to my irritation it had a lot of curry-patta and raw-red-chillies but that’s expected in this part of india. the paratha’s were great and triangle shaped, reminded me of north india. the sweet was superb though i couldn’t make what it was, exactly.

sewai-lachchha was a new thing for me and it was cool. the high point for me was the mutton-biryani; perfectly cooked and spiced for a mass gathering; it was awesome. the low point was chicken kebabs; i dunno why in southern india kebab means fried chicken. or may be it was fried chicken only because making kebab on such large scale is not easy but it is known as kebab on local shops and in north india they do make kebabs on large scale.

however, everything was cooked to perfection and the service was fast and efficient, plates were filled before even i realized that it was about to be empty. overall to sum up, it was a great experience for me, good food, nice ambiance, dejavu with old pals. what else could you dream for on a sunday afternoon.

faizan bhai, thank you a lot for inviting me over. not very often i get to go public gathering, specially in b’lore, away from home. though even at home i don’t go much until there is a friend like you waiting for me because i suffer agoraphobia, ochlophobia, demophobia and enochlophobia( all indicate one thing : phobia of crowd). in the end it’s been splendid. i really felt honored. oh yeah, by the way, you looked fabulous in your 3-piece suit…

once again best wishes to the newly wed couple for there future life amen !!