my first : nikah

sunday, may 2nd 2010. it was my first nikah in bangalore.

even if i could take the liberty to say and if my memories are helping me right, it was my first ever nikah.

eh.. don’t get confused, bhawnao ko samjho yaar. i attended first nikah ever in my life.

faizan bhai was gracious enough to invite to attend his brother’s nikah and kind enough to make arrangements for me to see the nikah procedures as well, while it’s an honor which is not given to non-family or relatives easily. i happened to meet a couple of old colleagues from my ex-job as well.

though, i was late to the function and missed most of the traditional-rituals. actually, i didn’t reach the mosque on time and missed entire nikah . i really wanted to witness that “kubool hai, kubool hai” scenario. may be next time, surely during akshey bhai’s nikah and possibly in faizan’s or any other friends nikah.

the function was supposed to take place at samad house, near safina plaza, commercial street. i reached there and as soon as i took the turn towards samad house. i started to feel uncomfortable, the gathering was a complete burqa laden crowd.

trust me, i started to feel so uncomfortable that i called faizan bhai and asked him to come out to get me in because by now i have started to imagine an environment in form of dungeons or moats. well, as faiz bhai came out and greeted me with warmness and took me in, my perception changed but not completely.

it was nice place, setup was pretty much similar to a hindu shaadi, color combination was as such that it was indicating a muslim-marriage but it would have indicated a hindu-marriage with same ease. a nice mix-up of pink and golden with white color made it a nice place to be.

it was same chaotic environment as it happens to be in any hindu marriage, with lot’s of chaos and lack of order. people spreading in all corners and talking about current issue, while in northern india it’s mostly about politics, here it was about community.

though, i noticed two major difference there from any hindu marriage. one, on the ground floor where the main reception was : none of the muslim women were there. they all were on the first floor. even a different entry point was created for them for easy access to first floor and isolation from men.

two, the crowd wasn’t versatile. while it could be credited to the family setup. only people who i saw there who didn’t look muslim were mostly faizan or his brother’s friends. well, it’s pretty much similar in hindu marriage as well. as in my area muslim density is not too great, so it appears logical. while about b’lore’s hindu density : no comment.

and for the first difference, i think it’s probably their culture. while, i was pretty surprised to see it as when i visited a muslim-friends-family in dehradun, their women also had food together with men on the same dastarkhan (which doesn’t happen in hindu’s normally). even in traditional-hindu marriages women eat after men and mostly in a separate sitting.

when i asked my hosts in dehradun about it, they had a logical reason for it : if women eat only when men are done having food, there wouldn’t be any pieces of meat available for them. it made sense. so in a sense, hindus and muslims aren’t very different when it comes to the eating customs for their women.

however, i would have to say : hindu women in general are given much more freedom to be around and mingle and enjoy the function. some even say, hindu functions and rituals are mostly designed to help them breathe easy. it may very well not go down with some of the people for most of the occasions but in a sense it’s true sometims.

well, all the differences and similarities i talked about were among the middle-class-traditional-hindu/muslim-marriage. so don’t whack me for my thoughts and thinking. anyways, enough of thinking over it. every community has highs n lows. though, i always believe in the freedom of soul which is seldom in any community. more about it when i write on religion, it’s been pending for sometime now and i have it in mind.

for now, let’s talk about food and than close it down. well, the food was superb. i didn’t expect such taste in southern india, well, i would have to give it to muslim-community to maintain their unified ways across the world with some small local adjustments.

the chicken curry was well prepared. it was not very spicy though very it was heavy, to my irritation it had a lot of curry-patta and raw-red-chillies but that’s expected in this part of india. the paratha’s were great and triangle shaped, reminded me of north india. the sweet was superb though i couldn’t make what it was, exactly.

sewai-lachchha was a new thing for me and it was cool. the high point for me was the mutton-biryani; perfectly cooked and spiced for a mass gathering; it was awesome. the low point was chicken kebabs; i dunno why in southern india kebab means fried chicken. or may be it was fried chicken only because making kebab on such large scale is not easy but it is known as kebab on local shops and in north india they do make kebabs on large scale.

however, everything was cooked to perfection and the service was fast and efficient, plates were filled before even i realized that it was about to be empty. overall to sum up, it was a great experience for me, good food, nice ambiance, dejavu with old pals. what else could you dream for on a sunday afternoon.

faizan bhai, thank you a lot for inviting me over. not very often i get to go public gathering, specially in b’lore, away from home. though even at home i don’t go much until there is a friend like you waiting for me because i suffer agoraphobia, ochlophobia, demophobia and enochlophobia( all indicate one thing : phobia of crowd). in the end it’s been splendid. i really felt honored. oh yeah, by the way, you looked fabulous in your 3-piece suit…

once again best wishes to the newly wed couple for there future life amen !!